Maegan- Revealing Attachments.

Yesterday I didn't blog (obviously), and as you at have guessed by my lack of blogging, I also didn't listen to my podcast. I was feeling a little disappointed in myself, and a little like the blog was going to get away from me and I was going to let everyone down- and that in and of itself revealed a lot to me about my hidden motives for prayer and blogging. Don't you hate that? When your true attachments to world things are revealed to you? (oh God please don't let me be the only one with attachments! ;) 

So if my motive for prayer is because I am blogging about my prayer, I have some work to do. I should pray because I love. Will God accept my prayer time if it comes from a skewed desire or want to attain another thing? Of course He will. Talk about a humble King! whew. It's hard to wrap my mind about that. But I should pray just because I love Him and want to spend time with Him. 

As a newlywed myself, (we celebrated our first anniversary at the end of June), I have learned a lot about love this first year. Mainly: that it is wonderful, that it is hard, and that I'm not always as good at it as I think I am. When I think about love, I think about my relationship with my husband. What would it feel like if I wanted to spend an extra five minutes of my day being with my husband so that I could feel better about myself, or He would give me some money, or for some other good benefit to me. (All just hypothetical situations of course!). But it doesn't make me feel very good even hypothetically. Why? Because I love my husband, and I want to be with Him just for the sake of being with Him and not for any other secondary purpose. 

So why do I struggle to spend time with God without another secondary motivation (even one like getting holier)? The answer: because I don't love Him enough. 

Lord, help me to love you more. 

Let us pray.