Maegan - Practicing the Presence of God

Yesterday came and went without a blog post from me, though it did not pass without prayer! I did not listen to my daily podcast yesterday, nor did I take a specific time away to sit in the presence of the Lord. I didn't take a "personal prayer time" yesterday, per se, but I did pray.

I spent the day contemplating God in the details and busyness of my work. In my struggles for organization and planning, I sought refuge in Him. In the quiet moments of office work in the late afternoon, I felt His presence with me. I reflected on my prayer journey thus far, and anticipated what was to come in prayer. I soaked in His goodness and mercy around the dinner table with friends when two of our high school seniors cooked a "Thank You" dinner for the Life Teen CORE team last night. I tasted his sweetness in the laughter echoing across the dinner table. Oh, and I got to hold a sweet little 6 week old baby... taste and see the GOODNESS of the Lord!

This IS prayer. It IS possible to "practice the presence of God' throughout your day as a means of being connected to God. However, I feel like God is calling me to something more.

"We must remember God more often than we draw breath." But we cannot pray "at all times" if we do not pray at specific times, consciously willing it. 

(Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2697)

I woke up today with a longing. My heart was aching for a connection, for time, for breath to be breathed into my soul. I awoke, perhaps, gasping for the oxygen of prayer. I don't mean that to be as dramatic as it sounds, because obviously it wasn't a true desperation... just a subtle seeking that I was aware of in the depths of my heart. Yesterday's prayer was not "enough."

Why?

Because we are made for intimacy.
We are made for intimacy with God.
And intimacy is not built in shallow contact.

Think about the marital or romantic relationship.
I love my husband, and he and I have the sort of relationship where we just don't tire of each other. He is my best friend, and we talk all day long - through brief phone calls, text messages, and sometimes emails. When we are not speaking, I am thinking of him - what he is doing at that moment, what he may be thinking or feeling, perhaps reflecting on things he shared with me earlier. But what would our relationship look like if we never actually took the time to look each other square in the face, in physical proximity to one another, and had actual interaction and conversation in person? What if we relied only on text messages, emails, phone calls, and thinking about one another throughout the day? What would happen?

Our relationship would be lacking a depth of intimacy which we were created to experience.

True love, desires communion with the Beloved.
God, desiring to be reunited to His people, sent Jesus to bring us back into communion with Him.
God desires communion (intimacy) with us at all times.
So much so, that He exists for us in the Eucharist (which we also call COMMUNION) in every Catholic Church, everywhere in the world, until the end of time.

Today, I think God is calling me deeper. Is He calling you?
Perhaps its time to spend some time alone with God, to square up to Him, look Him in the eyes, and let Him love us.

"I look at Him, and He looks at me." That is true intimacy. And that is enough.

Let us take time to meet the gaze of the Lord.
Let us pray...

Maegan - Breathing Again.

I noticed last week, when I was sitting in my office prayer corner during my prayer time, that I started  taking big, deep breaths without even consciously realizing it. I thought: huh, that's interesting.

Today, while listening to my daily podcast, I found myself doing the same thing. And you know what? After the podcast today, I felt like I wanted to keep soaking in all that grace so I turned on the Pandora Gregorian Chant Radio station and I have been listening to it for the past 4 hours.

Every so often, I catch myself taking a really deep breath again, without consciously willing it.

St. Padre Pio is quoted as saying that prayer is like oxygen for Christians. And although I know it to be true in my head, I have not lived it out for most of my life, and yet- when I enter a quiet church, how my heart and soul are at rest! How deeply do I breathe in the grace of those sweet moments!

What I'm trying to say is that in some ways I feel like I'm breathing again, after a long time of suffocation. Perhaps you are experiencing this grace of prayer in your life as well. Are you noticing that you are more conscious of the presence of God throughout the day? Are you aware of silent urgings of the Holy Spirit that you never payed attention to before? Do you notice an increase in your desire for prayer? Is there an ease in putting aside moments for reflection here and there that didn't exist before? Have you noticed an increase in discipline in some areas of your life?

All of these things are fruits of prayer. An overflow of God's grace into your life.
In a way, for me, it feels like I'm breathing again.

"Prayer is the life of the new heart. It out to animate us at every moment. But we tend to forget him who is our life and all.... "

"We must remember God more often times than we draw breath."

 (Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2697)

Lord, help us to love you more with every breath.
Let us pray...